I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize