Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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