Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
