well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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