I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
