Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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