I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
