Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
