I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
