ugly people sure do ruin things
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
