Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
