3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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