Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is it fun? or sober?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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