It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh god the rape fog is back!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
