I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
