He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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