i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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