All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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