we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize