i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
