look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How naked do you want me to be?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
