does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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