Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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