I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
