i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
