Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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