yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
