You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
