yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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