I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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