That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
