I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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