Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
