its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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