the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
