Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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