You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
