The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
