Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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