Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
