Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
