your room smells of hookers.
And success
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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