There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
