Apparently you make a good broom.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
