i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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