Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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