I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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