If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize