I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize