; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
