yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
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