i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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