I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
