I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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