you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
