Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
