He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
there is glitter all over my balls
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
